So not only did you teach me about writing memoir, you also taught me about reading and thinking about how others write memoir. Thank you so much! Rebecca

Accepting what is to come

You can’t change the direction of the wind, but you can adjust your sails.

Wednesday, May 27, 2020

What to do when other people aren’t social distancing

I found this article on WebMD helpful. I realized I took it personally when others ignored social distancing and wearing of masks in public. It made me angry! I wanted to say to them, “How can you be so stupid? Don’t you know that if you ignore these simple guidelines, you can be spreading this virus instead of helping to control it?”
It took lots of time and thinking to realize I can’t control all those people who will not practice the medical advice given to us by the top research people in the world. I don’t understand them, but I cannot control what they do.

I can control what I do.
I will avoid public places as much as possible. I will seek only businesses that offer me safety. That includes doctors and medical offices. I will ask before I go about the measures taken to follow CDC guidelines. I will not gather with other people that I am not sure are safe for me. No public gatherings of strangers at all. Who knows if there is that one person who will infect everyone present? And, who knows if I get it, will I live through it? I am in the high risk category. I will ask anyone who enters my house to wear a mask. I will stay six feet away from others even family members who come to visit.

My brother, Max, who was on a ventilator for days and almost died, will tell you, it is a terrible illness to endure. Being unable to breathe is awful. I watched my aunt die years ago. She begged for help because she could not breathe. All I could do was hold her hand. I don’t want to be in that position. I don't think anyone wants to face that.

Control What You Can says SETH J. GILLIHAN, PHD Clinical psychologist
Trying to make others do what you want is unlikely to work and usually only leads to frustration. Ultimately you can only control yourself. You can’t force your fellow pedestrians to give a wide berth on sidewalks and trails, for example, but you can take measures to stay as far from them as possible. You might need to limit your exposure to public spaces to the least busy times of day, or avoid narrow trails that make distancing difficult.
Remind yourself of the value of accepting the limits of what you can control. This requires a deep level of acceptance, which doesn’t mean resignation. You can care about this issue a great deal, even as you acknowledge that your control is limited.

My readers know, ACCEPTANCE is my word for 2020. Accepting this cavalier attitude by others who could easily kill me is very difficult for me, but I am doing my best. 
Gay and Stu Moring, great family, wonderful hosts, kind and caring
I am finding things to enjoy like a week with my sister and brother-in-aw who are also self-isolating; Growing my deck garden and enjoying the woodpeckers and hummers who come to my feeders; Finding ways to eat foods I like but can’t get now from restaurants; Having my hair cut by my sister who did a good job, I think. 

One of my joys is my little Lexie. Such unconditional love! 
I am also working on genealogy which I enjoy, especially researching a deceased member of my family and discovering such an interesting life. I ordered a book by one of his family and was delighted to find a newspaper clipping inserted in what was evidently a used book. The article was about the subject of the memoir.
So, life goes on and can be fun and interesting while avoiding people as much as possible. I hope your days are filled with interesting things to do and see. We might not be back to normal for a long time, but we can make our new normal what we want it to be and still protect ourselves.

Stay safe and well, my dear friends.

3 comments:

  1. Good luck.
    I am well aware that I can only change my own behaviour - which doesn't stop me sometimes being sent almost ballistic with rage at the selfishness/stupidity of others. Anger uses energy I really don't have to spare, so I do my best to step away.

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  2. EC it is so difficult for me to control my anger and tell myself to step away, but I am working on it. I have to accept this because my anger and mood each day is being usurped by people who don't matter to me, but I am letting them have control of my thoughts and feelings. I can't spare any energy either.

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  3. Sometimes stepping away is very, very hard isn't it?

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