Closing out the year with some humor by Roger Carlton
If I learned one thing from more than 50 years of public service, it is that
the most intractable problems are often solved with humor.
Today we are very polarized. People are addicted to using electronic devices
and social networks to yell at each other. After all, such means of making a
point does not require facing your opponent and looking them in the eye.
1. A conservative believes that “What is mine is mine and what is yours we can negotiate or take.”
2. A liberal believes that “What is mine is mine and what is yours belongs to everyone.
3. An independent believes that “What is mine is mine and and give me some time
to think about yours.”
The Founders believed in certain inalienable rights unless you were a slave or
a woman. It took four score and seven years for President Lincoln to deliver
the Emancipation Proclamation and an additional two score and 17 years for
women to be granted the right to vote. That is 87 and 57 years for those who
don’t count in scores.
The prehistoric cave dwellers communicated with grunts and pictures on cave
walls. As technology progressed, native people used drums and smoke signals.
Some people think the smoke is still used.
Early technology included the Pony
Express, telegraph, hard line phones, television, newspapers and magazines.
Once our Tennessee neighbor, Al Gore, invented the Internet, Facebook and
Twitter soon followed.
Frankly, this columnist thinks tweeting is for the birds. When people tweet, it
is an insult to our avian friends except perhaps the goony bird. That noble
American bald eagle doesn’t tweet. He hunts with the goal of feeding his family
and he mates for life.
So my friends, we come to the end of a “year of discontent.” Here are a few
suggested New Year resolutions.
Turn off all communication devices at dinner.
It breaks my heart to see parents and children having dinner at a restaurant
while all are clacking away on some device.
Second, ban all family
responses that use the word “whatever.” The word defines disrespect and not
caring.
Finally, if you must tweet, the victims of the tweet should be allowed
to finish their sentences before the send button is mashed.
