This quote speaks to me daily now as I understand I can't go back, and I can't change the future. Life has stages, I think, and I am in a late stage of life, and I must adjust my sails.
I might live to be in my nineties as did two of my aunts and one of my brothers, but every day I see how life is changing for me. I must adjust my sails to deal with all the wind changes.
I am angry at the health issues that make life harder for me, but anger does no good. There comes a time when the medical world seems to decide you are old and we can't do anything about it, so deal with it.
I get frustrated at the medical profession and the way older people are treated in many places.
"You need a young person to be your advocate," I am told. If I had adult children, I suppose they would be in charge of my life now, but I would not like that.
Why? Why does the medical profession only want to deal with "young people."
Why do my phone calls and my questions have no weight with the staff but if I had a young adult call for me, why would that make a difference?
I remember when my parents and my older sister reached their seventies, I or someone younger became their advocate with the doctors and their staff. I was there for my mother but she didn't drive and her short-term memory was gone. She needed me and I was glad to help. But my mind is still working and I certainly can drive.
When I complained to my cardiologist last year about the doctor and staff at Piedmont Hospital in Atlanta because after several tests they would not return my calls or communicate with me for months, his answer was, "I can send you to another hospital, Mayo Clinic, Emory, wherever you want to go, but it will be the same. They are all the same now." He even had bad experiences of his own when dealing with an injury that sent him to the hospital.
Another sad experience of a friend of mine, in her eighties, in a local hospital where she was in bed and told not to get up alone. She had no family with her so she called for a nurse to help her. No one came. She called and called and no one came or she was told they would be there in a few minutes. My friend said an hour or more passed and no one came. Finally, when someone arrived and my friend complained about having to wait so long, she was told, "Well, Mrs. Smith, you aren't the only patient in this hospital."
I hope I never have to go to the hospital with no family member or someone there with me. We always had someone with my mother and my father when they were hospitalized.
I find myself amused when my sister, a couple of years younger than me, goes with me to my doctor's appointment. Her hair is not yet white, so they talk to her instead of me about my health. She notices it as well.
So, young people, beware. Once your hair turns gray, take a younger person, or someone who looks younger, to the doctor's office with you.
I think we all need an advocate to attend medical appointments with us if possible because another set of ears hears things you might not. Or another set of ears might hear differently but they could be wrong. If there is a controversy about medications or treatment, someone should contact the doctor's office and hope to get the correct information. But many, like me, do not have a family member or anyone to go with them where I live in the mountains.
I have learned to make a list of questions before I go in for a doctor's appointment. With them only having fifteen minutes for me, I can't get answers unless I write them down and hurriedly ask them. After all, it seems the doctor can or must only take care of one issue in a visit.
I should add here that my present primary care doctor seems to be thorough and helpful. My functional care doctor and her staff are always helpful and caring.
I wish I could talk to senior adults from other countries about how their health conditions are handled. I know I am not the only one who has these problems and more because many of my friends say they also feel they are not important to their doctors or feel no one listens to them or cares about their health.
Even caring doctors often have an uncaring staff or the staff is inefficient. I know we have a shortage of healthcare workers since the pandemic and that adds to the problems. In the past, I was usually happy with the nurse practitioners and found they took longer with me and followed up better.
If you are older, I would like to hear your problems or frustrations with the American health care system for people over sixty-five, and your suggestions as to how to get the best care. Maybe we can help each other.
As always, I appreciate your reading and staying with me even when I get behind in my posting.
